They Call Me Galvez

Found this old letter I wrote to my brain tumor… makes me smirk… it took away almost everything from me.  But it recreated me and I was reborn.

Sup Brain Tumor

My name is Eric. I’m a 34 year old guy originally from Michigan. We met in Sept 2005. I had just turned 30 and everything was going as planned both professionally and personally.  We had a 1.2 in 100,000 chance of meeting. Because of you everything changed. My balance and coordination are all messed up now. The life I wanted was ruined!  You scared the hell out of me, my parents, my family, and my friends. I was forced to reinvent myself while I continue to get back on track! “F” you. Actually, thanks for making me stronger, smarter, and more focused. You picked the wrong guy to mess with. There are a bunch of smart people doing research to fight you. It’s only a matter of time before someone finds a cure to fight you. Your days are numbered.

Sincerely,

Eric AKA “Galvez”

Please read the old comments to get you fired up!  Leave your own comment!

For all you patients with tumors or loved ones of patients with tumors this is your chance to “vent”. Leave a comment. We will not edit anything, but we do have one rule: PLEASE REFRAIN FROM USING RACIALLY, CULTURALLY, SEXUALLY, OR RELGIUOSLY DEROGATORY WORDS! Remember anyone can read this. Thanks.  WARNING:  CONTINUE AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION!

  I’m finding that things are just now starting to be addressed that were not before, probably because I was not ready.  The biggest issue we are focusing on now is stance on the L LE.  We’ve been so busy addressing placement, that we’ve neglected the stance leg.  The proprioception in my left knee is probably impaired so that decreases my stance time on my L LE.  I have a neoprene knee brace I can start wearing to give me a little sensory input to the knee.  To recap, I have toe socks and a knee brace to address proprioception in my L LE.  Now, I gotta figure out how to address the L hip proprioception.  I am starting to retrain my L LE to bear more weight, but I’ve already built up some “bad” habits from the past few years.  “Increasing Awareness” is literally my full time job now through mAss Kickers Foundation (TUMORS SUCK!) and through my personal physical rehabilitation (Increasing Proprioception)!

Last night I attended a “Celebration of Life” for a fellow brain tumor friend of mine.  We only hung out a few times, but I always felt a strong connection with her.  I admired her energy and outlook on life under dire circumstances.  She passed away from an inoperable brain tumor last week.  I was invited to come to the event by another survivor friend of mine.  At first, I was reluctant to attend because of the somber circumstances of the event.  I couldn’t have been more wrong!  I was thoroughly impressed by the sheer attendance of the event AND the amount of laughter that filled that crowded room!  It was refreshing and probably very therapeutic for all her loved ones.  A diagnosis like a brain tumor/cancer affects so many more people than just the patient.  Obviously the patient is the primary person of concern, but it affects a lot of people too.  Our family and friends must also endure everything emotionally that we, as patients, must to go through.  I have a lot of respect for those that stay with us through the tough times! Facing these challenges alone as a patient is no easy task.  I’ve noticed that some friends step out, some friends step up, and some new friends step in.  In many cases it is the support from our loved ones that gets us though the difficult times.  A unified front by ALL those affected by tumors/cancer can be very powerful in the war against these horrible diseases.  I think a strong community of support is essential to face the new challenges of a tumor/cancer diagnosis. When we support each other in these situations, it is easier to build the confidence to step up to even the toughest challenges.  Just knowing that a group of people “have your back”, will give confidence to anyone who needs it. The human spirit is very powerful under dire circumstances, but like the fingers in a clenched fist, it is more powerful when we fight these challenges side by side.  Last night was a strong reminder of why TUMORS SUCK!  It was also a reminder of how the right ATTITUDE can be a strong force in the fight against these horrible diseases!   That is how a “mAss Kicker” approaches these challenges!

Thanks Chazzy for reminding me why I fight!

I’ve got some crazy new ideas forming in my head.  Yesterday in therapy I noticed some guy wearing toe shoes.  They looked kinda funny so I had to ask him more about it.  It is a way to promote barefoot running.  They supposedly strengthen the muscles in your feet.  I can’t run yet, but I do have theory that may help improve the proprioception in my feet.  I seem to remember from PT school that abducting (spreading) the fingers of a hand helps to increase hand proprioception in stroke patients.  Why couldn’t this be applied to the toes and feet?  Just an experiment I want to try.  I’m thinking that addressing proprioception might aid in calming down my overactive calf muscles.  Isn’t the insertion of the gastroc on the calcaneous (heal bone) and the origin of many intrinsic toe muscles on the calcaneous. hmmmm…

One of the things I noticed as well is the fact that I have a very strong posterior lean in standing and even sitting.  I’m aware of moving my head forward when walking, but I’m now actively trying to lean the trunk forward and SHIFT MY WEIGHT more forward.  Part of me feels like I need to start “FALLING ON MY FACE” to get over my “fear” of shifting my weight forward. I’m pretty sure the people I work with over there think I’m crazy!  I guess there is probably a safer way to do this, but I’ll try anything.  It makes sense to me.  I really gotta focus on moving forward and not being afraid of falling… been practicing that concept for a while, but now I need to practice physically “moving forward and not being afraid of falling” !

Tried walking in the LiteGait harness again yesterday… this time we tried walking on the floor.  One thing we noticed is that when I’m in the LiteGait it pulls me backwards when I’m walking.  The problem I’m dealing with is walking independently vs people/ assistive devices “guarding” me too closely when trying to walk.    Solutions… maybe lowering the LiteGait harness a little and let me loose my balance/correct myself.  Perhaps the use of a mirror on wheels in front of me when walking will help re-educate my gait pattern so I can see what’s going on…  this will be interesting…

Tried something familiar in rehab yesterday.  Tried walking on the treadmill in a “LiteGait” harness.  Something felt different this time… I’ve walked on treadmills over the past few years, but I rely on my arms way too much.  I would use my “guns” (arms) as my “safety net” whenever I would walk with the walker, crutches, and cane.  With the LiteGait, we build up my confidence walking without using my arms,  I’m what you might consider a “calculated risk taker”… If something makes sense, I’ll try it.  In my opinion, the best way to learn is by experience!  I’ve tried many experiments since starting this journey… Some things work well, but I’ve also had my share of failure.  (I try to forget my beer in a crockpot idea… Made perfect sense at the time…)  We revisited the LiteGait harness yesterday to eliminate the use of my arms and the reliance on the people “guarding” me from falling when ever I walk.  This time around with the LiteGait was different because I have more control of my left leg and my core stability is stronger.  It was still pretty ugly, but the “Lite” (Gait) at the end of the tunnel is getting even brighter.  We put a mirror in front of me, and I noticed my left hip has very little control in the stance phase.  The mirror helps a lot!  I can try to correct it now.  The LiteGait takes forever to setup, but I think it is worth it.  It may even be used without a treadmill… Will def have to explore this…  Stay tuned…