The holidays were different this year. For the first time I actually flew back to Michigan on Christmas Eve. I would get to experience real “holiday” travel at a busy airport. Crying babies, grumpy passengers, crowded planes… surprisingly, none of it bothered me. Things don’t bother me as much as they used to. ( I had successful brain surgery on one of the most dangerous areas to have a brain tumor… and I’m still alive to talk about it! You think I’m going to sweat minor inconveniences or details!) It takes a lot to get me upset! I’m by no means an unemotional robot now. I was not looking forward to the subzero temperatures or coming home to my parent’s old house with no bed for me (that is a completely different story). However, I was excited to see all my family and friends back home. I got to see many family members that are scattered all over the country, friends from college, and friends from grad school. I didn’t come home for Christmas last year, so this year had special meaning. Much has happened in the past year, that I’ve kind of lost track of the people closest to me.
Part of me didn’t recognize the place that I used to call home. My room… now storage. The people I used to hangout with… married with kids. The schools I used to attend… look completely different with new buildings or construction. Things change for a reason. Nothing ever stays the same. I realized that things need to change for progress to occur. While I am making my way back, I have to pave a new path both personally and professionally. My life took a dramatic detour when I was diagnosed with a brain tumor. I have accomplished a lot in the past 4 years. Writing a book, winning awards, traveling the country, starting an organization, and now officially starting a nonprofit. I have challenged myself to do many things outside of my comfort zone and still plan on accomplishing a lot more! I continually test my limits. I think that this is how a have been able to accomplish so much so fast. I am still very reluctant to call the tumor a “blessing in disguise”. I think of it as an “awakening”. I’m doing things I never dreamed I would do. Personally, my life is still on pause. It’s kinda like I’m waking up from a crazy dream but its 4 years later. It has been difficult watching my friends move on with their lives: starting families, pursuing their dream jobs, and living the life I’ve always wanted for myself.
A new year always brings a new sense of hope. That hope is just a mirage unless a plan is developed to take steps towards realizing that hope. Hope has always been there for me, but the plan needs some work. I’m still formulating my “plan” for 2010. Once I get that figured out, look out! Stay Tuned!
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